Don't cry for me...

As I sit and prepare for my 5 day retreat, I am bombarded with emotion. My final retreat prior to becoming a postulant starts tomorrow.

I have sat and reread my journal entries for over an hour. They cover everything since I have embarked on this journey in January 2016. I cried when I read the sweet note my sister wrote at the beginning of each of the journals and laughed at the short and sweet one my little brother wrote. What I realize is I am truly blessed. My family and friends have touched and impacted my life greatly.

I relived the loss of a dear cousin's son, the fear of starting a job teaching, and the joy of each convent visit. I read with deep sorrow, again, of the loss felt by family, friends, students, and my self after Hurricane Harvey, experienced the overwhelming gratitude I felt for friends and family after I entered the affiliate last year, and I relived each and every "normal" day recorded.

Today I said goodbye to my 2 goofy pups. I cried and Alex licked the tears from my eyes, and Cleo turned away in true Cleo fashion. You see, I know I will see my parents, brother, and brother-in-law again very soon. They will be here next weekend
to celebrate, but the dogs- this was goodbye. It seems silly- I am sure- but these 2 were my life savers many times.

When I experienced a brake up, I had 2 things that really kept me moving forward: Leslie's relentless efforts to keep me going (and I will forever be thankful for that) and Alex. When I would lay in bed and cry at night, Alex would cuddle close and lick my tears away. When I needed a good laugh, Alex, usually with the help of Leslie or Rascal, would do something funny. These 2 dogs were my companions in a huge house all to myself. The new neighborhood and street were actually really scary at first and Cleo's constant guard helped to make me feel safe. Though I will have home visits and they are both relatively healthy, they are old dogs and each time I leave, it will be a gamble if I will see them again. I took about a million pictures on my phone last night...

Please do not take this as- "I am not going to go through with it because of the dogs." That would be ridiculous. People just ask all the time what I think the hardest adjustment will be, and this was not anywhere on my radar. I thought it would be living in community, or going back to school, not teaching or something along those lines. I think it is because I never really wanted to think of leaving the puppies. But- I know the grace is there. I know God will not provide me with challenges I cannot overcome. And this too shall pass.



I have a post I was going to add on the mission to Vietnam, but as I was writing it this felt more needed. I will finish that post at a later time and add it.

Please pray for me as I start my retreat and prepare to start my postulant year. If you have specific prayer requests, please feel free to add them in the comments or on the Link on Facebook. 



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